DO THIS IMMEDIATELY! By Dr. Jay LaGuardia
There is one thing you can do immediately to improve all areas of your life. Don’t miss this!
Has this ever happened to you? You’re having a conversation with a friend or co-worker or perhaps even your spouse, and you find that your attention is waning to something other than the person in front of you. You’re wondering… did I close the garage door or what flavor of coffee should I drink today or I think I will repaint my bedroom this weekend. Sound familiar?
You are so detached from the conversation that you might as well be on a different planet. We all experience this at times; however consider what the cost is by not being present in your relationships. At the least it causes misunderstandings, but at the worst it fractures and destroys relationships and opportunities. Your ability to build strong and meaningful relationships is perhaps the most essential and important element to a happy and successful life.
When we are engaged in conversation we owe that person our full attention. No brainer…right? In fact we should give our full attention first before we should expect the same in return. We must show respect to get respect. Check out these best practices for improving listening skills.
4 Easy Steps to be a Good Listener:
- Use your eyes to develop trust
- Listen to hear, not to respond
- Repeat back what you hear to confirm understanding
- Observe your posture
Becoming a good listener is a skill just like playing the piano or learning how to dance or write. Start by creating eye contact. It is said the eyes are the windows to the soul. Nothing says, “I’m here. I’m listening and you have my full attention.” like holding eye contact.
Listen To HEAR
Next listen to hear, not to respond. Don’t be formulating your response before the person speaking has finished. Resist this temptation. When we do this our ability to understand fully WHAT is being said is greatly diminished. Isn’t the purpose of communication to first understand fully the other person’s position? Start by hearing what is being said and then repeat it back to the person to confirm what you heard was accurate. Lastly, respond. Watch their reaction………they will be amazed!
Finally your posture speaks volumes about your level of interest. It signals to the person in front of you whether you are accepting or rejecting what they are saying. Most of this level of communication occurs subconsciously. They are picking up our nonverbal cue’s, which speaks volumes about our level of engagement. If your arms and legs are crossed and your shoulders are slouched you’re providing signals that you are not buying what they are selling. Be conscious of your posture. Work on keeping your facial expressions neutral and your posture strong and powerful, but not intimidating. Be mindful of the unspoken messages you’re sending.
Our ability to communicate impacts every area of our lives. So much of the stress and discord that occurs is due to poor listening skills. When we feel like we are not being heard we become angry and frustrated. We feel like we are unimportant and disrespected. Applying these listening skills can change all of that.
Want to improve relationships with your spouse, children, coworkers and friends? Do you want to be recognized at work or close that big deal? Then start applying these skills today! With regular practice I promise you will see your life radically transform for the better.
“The quality of your life is directly related to the quality of your relationships.”
Live inspired, be abundant and fulfill your destiny,
Here’s to Empowering your dreams, Igniting Your Passion, and Accelerating Your Prosperity!
Dr. Jay LaGuardia
Podcast on Spotify (Android)
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