How do you solve conflicts? by Dr. Jay LaGuardia

Here’s Some Thoughts on Solving Conflict

Recently I spent some time visiting Israel. As a destination to travel to, it was not high on my list for a variety of reasons, one of the main issues was the instability in the region. In fact, during our trip two rockets were fired at the city of Tel Aviv, the very city we were staying in. To say this was interesting probably doesn’t do the experience justice. The Israeli people were remarkably unfazed by the incident. I guess fighting a never-ending war will harden just about anyone. Aside from that unexpected part of our trip we were quickly won over by the country’s beauty, culture, people, history, and especially their food.

Many of you are likely aware of the Israeli and Palestinian conflict. Now I offer no solution to this centuries-old problem, people far smarter than me have tried and failed to provide a workable solution that each side can live with, however I learned some interesting things about solving disagreements.

First it is important to know that both sides want peace. How do I know, because we spoke with many people from both cultures. We actually traveled across the Israeli border into Palestine on the West Bank into Jerusalem. The Palestinians, like the Israelis, want to provide hope and safety for their families and raise their families to pursue their passions and dreams. What a novel concept! What they don’t completely agree on is how to achieve this peace.

Both sides are optimistic a solution can eventually be worked out. Where they lack confidence is in their leadership. You see conflict is a business and it provides its own industry affording power and relevance to those charged with figuring it out.

Let me provide you the necessary tools to help avoid and eliminate conflict in your own business and life:

6 Important Things Regarding Conflict Resolution

1. Both Parties Must Want Resolution

To begin with, each party must want a resolution. This may seem like a no brainer, but you would be surprised. Far too many people feed off conflict. They have no intention in learning, understanding, or growing, they just want to create more drama. There is no benefit talking with someone who feeds off this type of conflict. Walk…no, RUN away!

2. Each Party Needs To Be Heard

Each party needs to have their opinions and feelings heard. What I mean is listening in order to understand before responding initially. Their feelings should be spelled out in detail and shared. Before a solution can be found, understanding needs to occur.

3. Leave Emotion Out Of It

Grievances should be discussed using little to no emotion, keep things limited to just the facts. It is already understood that each side is upset. If tensions and emotion start to increase, step away for some time to cool down.

4. Prioritize Needs and Wants

Once each side feels their position is understood, it is time to negotiate. Start by identifying must haves, like to have, and low priority issues.

5. There Must Be Give and Take

Now it’s time for the give and take. In any deal, a win/win is where each side feel like they gave up something of importance while getting something of value back in return. The important thing to understand here, it’s not about winning it’s about conflict resolution.

6. Agree To Disagree

Finally, agree to disagree when necessary. Each party must respect the other and want to achieve peace and prosperity. Our relationships, families, businesses, health, and wealth cannot expand or grow in abundance within a state of constant turmoil.

Getting good at conflict resolution will change your business…and your life!

Most of us have probably noticed that the world we live in, has gotten further and further away from this necessary and important part of business and life. Too often now, within the media in particular, we see complete and total disrespect, intolerance, and unwillingness to compromise from people and groups on different sides of an argument. Somehow people have decided that if you disagree with me, you are the scourge of the earth or something.

Clearly this is a very unhealthy way for the world at large to operate. Even when we fundamentally disagree with someone about something, there is so much we can learn from an open dialogue or discussion. Neither party can influence the other, if both are not willing to at least listen and consider. Luckily for all of us the advice we have listed in this blog, works really well in the real world that most of us live in. If you are one who experiences regular conflict in your life, we would suggest learning and adopting these 6 key steps if you want more peace, happiness, and prosperity.

Dr. Jay Founder & CEO

PS

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